Why I Struggle to Pray

I have a new book recommendation:  Personal Prayer: A Guide to Receiving the Father’s Love.  I started reading this a few weeks ago because I had heard one of the authors, Fr. Boniface Hicks, on a podcast of Pints with Aquinas.  I’m not going to get into the specifics of the book right now but am going to tell you how it impacted me.

I’ve been pretty open about my past struggles with prayer.  It never ceases to amaze me when I read about people who can pray for hours.  I usually struggle to pray 10 minutes.  Whether it’s distractions or boredom, my prayer time does not generally seem very fruitful.  It’s true that a certain amount of dryness in prayer is to be expected.  God wants us to persevere even when we don’t feel like we are getting anything out of it.  But for me, I often feel like I’m stuck at the same spot in prayer and not really connecting with God at all.

One night, I started reading this book and taking “prayer breaks” in an effort to utilize the suggestions that the authors were advising.   My “prayer breaks” went like this.  First, I imagined Jesus sitting near me in the room.  I would talk to Him about my life in a very open and personal way.  Then I would pause and listen to His response.  Sometimes, I could hear His response in my heart and other times I was met with silence but a strong feeling of peace.  At one point, I asked Jesus why I have such a hard time praying.  His answer caught me completely off guard.  In my heart, I heard Him say, “You struggle to pray because you do not really believe that I am present when you pray.”   I know this was from Him because in one sentence, He cut straight to the problem and offered the solution.  He does this type of thing all the time in the Bible.

I think that most of us who struggle with prayer have the same problem.  We find it impossible to believe that this God who made us along with billions of other people wants to have a deep, personal, and unique relationship with each one of us.  We cannot imagine that God is truly present to us each time we pray.  He wants to listen to You more than your closest friend.  He wants you to bring Him all of your problems and worries.  He wants to celebrate the good times with you and help you through the bad.  He is there waiting patiently, silently to love you as only He can.   He is hoping to connect with you every day.  Are you willing?